Cockney Dictionary
A tattoo client of mine works with a alot of english people . They tend to use a lot of slang from across the pond. So as not to feel left out he asked if they would compile a cheat sheet or Cockney Dictionary if you will of what they were saying.
After a week he asked what was going on; they said they were still working on it and then finally e-mailed him the Word Doc. So without looking he opened and pressed print. When arriving to the company copier he found that it had printed a total of twenty two pages.
Here, in all it’s glory is the Cockney Dictionary compiled for him enjoy.
aggro - short for aggravation or violence
all over the gaff/shop - general term to describe someone or something that has no direction or that is in a mess.
alright/awright - a greeting literally meaning “is everything all fine?”
‘andsome - (handsome) - very good, e.g. “That’s ‘andsome mate” (That’s great/brilliant).
anorak - geek, nerd. A term that has been used since the 80s. An ‘anorak’ is always male, unfashionable and possibly a ‘trainspotter’.
arrows - the game darts - pron. “arras”.
arse - has developed over the past few years and can be used in a number of ways. The first meaning is obviously ‘bottom’ and is the English (and original) version of the American ‘ass’.
arse about/arsing about - to fool around, e.g. “Stop arsing around, mate…”
arseholed - very drunk, e.g. “I got totally arseholed on Saturday night.”.
arse-over-tit /-elbow - to fall over in a dramatic fashion, e.g. “I’d had a bit to drink you see and I just went arse-over-tit!”.
backhander - a payment given, normally in a secretive fashion.
ballistic - to go mad with rage. eg “He went ballistic”.
banged up - to be put in prison. eg “Did you hear John got banged up for GBH?”.
bangers - another name for sausages. Originates from the fact that they explode when cooking if they are not pierced first. A traditional English meal is ‘bangers and mash’ (sausages + mashed potatoes).
banging - a ‘rave culture’ term meaning exciting, powerful etc. Has replaced terms such as ‘kicking’ and ’slammin’. A typical example of the term being used would be when a clubber says a DJ was playing ‘banging choons’ (a lively set).
bare – opposite to what it really means. “There were bare (loads of) girls at the club last night”
barmy - a foolish person, mad. “You must be barmy mate”.
Barnet fair - normally shortened to ‘Barnet’ - Rhyming Slang for ‘hair’. eg “I’m ‘avin my Barnet chopped on Saturday” (I’m having my hair cut on Saturday).
barney - row, violent argument.
batty boy - offensive slang for gay man.
bean flicker - a lesbian. Likening the clitoris to a bean. Also ‘to flick one’s bean’ is for a woman to masturbate.
beast - a common term used to describe an ugly bird or the police.
behave… - pron. ‘bee-ave’. Meaning ’sort yourself out’, ’stop being silly’. Can be used in an agressive manner as if to say ’stop doing that, or else’.
beef curtains - another vulgar term for a woman’s ‘bits’.
bell - a telephone call. eg “give us a bell later”
bell-end - end of penis. Comes from its shape. Can be applied to a person as an insult “You total bell-end!”
bender - this term can mean a drinking spree, or a gay bloke (in the latter case, short for ‘gender bender’).
bent - can mean ‘gay man’ or ’stolen’. ie “That bloke downn the market sells bent goods”.
bent as a nine* bob note - (* denomination varies widely) a term to describe someone thought to be gay. eg “(H)e’s bent as a nine bob note mate” and also used to describe something that is illegal/crooked, ie. stolen goods.
berk - Rhyming Slang, short for ‘Berkshire Hunt’, meaning ‘cunt’. Most people go around calling people ‘berks’ for years not realising that it is slang for one of the strongest swear words in the English language.
big girl’s blouse - Normally used as a term to playfully ridicule a young man who is a bit soft and shy. The sort of thing your uncle might say to you. eg. “Come on, put your back into it you big girls blouse !”.
Billy - short for ‘Billy Whizz’ a character from an English children’s comic (the Beano). ‘Whizz’ is another name for the drug ’speed’. ie. It makes you whizz.
Billy no mates - a sad bloke who has few friends.
bird - probably the most common slang term for woman/girl/girlfriend. In prison slang a ‘bird’ is a prison sentence. eg. “He’s doing ‘is bird in Dartmoor”. This comes from the Rhyming Slang term ‘birdlime’ meaning ‘time’.
bit of a knob - a general term of abuse. e.g. “He seems like a bit of a knob”. Especially used when you don’t really know someone but your initial impressions are that you don’t like them.
bit of awright / stuff / fluff - general term used by men to refer to an attractive young lady.
bladdered - very drunk. eg. “he was completely bladdered”
blag – to wing, to gain unduly
(cor) blimey - corruption of the oath ‘God blind me’. Used as an exclamation.
blinding / blinder - used to describe something amazing or wonderful. eg “We ‘ad a blinding time last night down the pub”.
bloke - general term for a man
blotto - a fairly old term for ‘very drunk’ eg “I got totally blotto last night”.
blower - slang for telephone. eg. “I’ve got John on the blower, he wants a word”.
boat race - Rhyming Slang for ‘face’. eg “She looks awright from behind, but you wanna see the boat mate”.
bob - shilling(s) in ‘old’ money. Now the 5p coin.
Bobby - slang for policeman (from Robert Peel).
Bob’s your uncle - This term may come from the Irish politician Balfour who in 1887 was unexpectedly promoted to the post of Chief Secretary for Ireland by his uncle Robert, Lord Salisbury. This stroke of nepotism is said to have inspired the term. The phrase is used as if to say “and so it is done”. e.g. “You just turn on the power, hit the switch and Bob’s your uncle”.
borasic lint - Rhyming Slang for ’skint’ (penniless). Used in it’s short form, eg “I’m totally borasic !” Round my way this is just brassic.
bish bash bosh – similar to Bob’s your mother’s brother. eg “It won’t take a second to do that son, just go bish bash bosh and Bob’s yer uncle”.
bottle - courage, balls. eg “he lost his bottle”, “he bottled out”, “he’s got a lot of bottle”.
bottler - someone who ‘bottles’ out, see above.
bovver - trouble, usually fighting.
box - this has many meanings such as television (”what’s on the box ?”) and out of your box or off your box - drunk or stoned, generally wasted.
boy-dem - police
brass monkeys - cold weather, as in “it’s brass monkeys out there”. Comes from the saying ‘cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey’.
bread - slang for ‘money’. From the Rhyming Slang ‘bread and honey’.
bread knife - Rhyming Slang for ‘wife’. e.g. “How’s the bread knife doin’ mate ?”.
brew - slang for a cup of tea and sometimes a pint of beer. eg “Do you fancy a brew ?”.
brewers’ droop – when you’ve had too much alcohol and can’t perform with the missus.
Bristol’s - Rhyming Slang, short for Bristol city, ‘titty’. Therefore ‘Bristols’ = ‘titties’ or ‘tits’. Used in the term “She’s big in the Bristol area”.
brown bread - Rhyming Slang for ‘dead’. Used in it’s full form.
brown nose(r) / nosing - someone who is sycophantic, who ‘licks arse’ (how they get a brown nose).
bubble and squeek - Modern Rhyming Slang for ‘greek’. After the name of the dish which is left-over cabbage and potato fried up (usually for breakfast). A popular term for a person of Greek origin during the 80’s. Usually shortened, i.e. “I’m sure Dave once told me his dad was a bubble”.
bubble bath – laugh eg. ‘you’re ‘aving a bubble, mate’ (you must be joking)
bugger - a mild form of abuse or an exclamation. Used commonly and without worry about offending. eg “You crafty bugger !”. Someone who is ‘a bugger’ is more likely to be ‘cheeky’ rather than a rogue. Other forms are: bugger-off (to tell someone to go away / to leave quickly) and bugger-all (nothing at all. eg “I’ve got bugger-all money left”). The term derives from the earlier sense, from someone who practices anal intercourse.
bum bandit - slang term for gay man.
bum-suck - to wet the end of a cigarette or joint when you smoke it. eg. A complaint made amongst smokers “Hey man don’t bum it!”.
(a) bun in the oven - meaning pregnant. eg “Did you know she’s got a bun in the oven ?”.
(to) bunk-off - to be absent without permission, usually used by children who miss days at school.
(to do a) bunk - to make an escape, leave rapidly. eg. “Once Fred heard the filth were onto him he dun a bunk”.
bunk-up - term for sexual intercourse. “‘allo darlin, fancy a bunk-up?”
bush - another word for vagina.
(the) business - seriously good eg “You wanna see Dave’s new car mate, it’s the business…”.
butchers - Rhyming Slang , short for for ‘butchers hook’ meaning ‘look’. A very common example of rhyming slang, usual examples are “give us a butchers” or “let’s ‘av a butchers”.
cabbage - sometimes used as an offensive or playful term for someone a bit slow or foolish.
cabbaged - used for tired or stoned - eg. “I feel totally cabbaged”.
cack - faeces, rubbish. eg “What a load of cack you talk sometimes !”.
cakehole - mouth. eg “Shove that in your cakehole !”, “shut your cakehole !”.
caned - drunk or stoned.
carpet muncher - lesbian.
char / cha - tea.
Chang - meaning ‘Charlie Chang’ which in turn is a long form of Charlie, slang for cocaine. Became ‘ching’ round my way.
Charlie - widely used slang for cocaine.
(a right) Charlie - short for ‘Charlie Ronce’ - Rhyming Slang for ‘ponce’. Normally used in the form ‘a right Charlie’. The meaning for ‘ponce’ can vary from a dodgy character or idiot or for a homosexual.
Chelsea smile - the scar you get when you have been cut ear to ear is known as a Chelsea smile. Derived from the football hooligans of Chelsea FC.
chief - an insult where calling someone ‘chief’ is indicating they are a fool. As in someone who thinks they are in charge, but really they don’t know what they’re doing.
china - Rhyming Slang, short for ‘China plate’-'mate’. Used as a general term to address someone you are at least a bit familiar with. Usually prefixed by ‘me old’. eg. “Awright me old china”.
chinky - Chinese takeaway or person. eg. “shall we go over the chinky ?” (shall we take a visit to the Chinese takeaway ?) I never say this but it is quite common amongst my redneck friends.
chippy/chippie - slang term for a fish and chip shop and also for a carpenter.
choked - very disappointed or overcome with emotion
chopper - slang for penis and also a 1970’s popular bicycle with a banana seat, now a cult classic
chuffed - very happy, delighted. eg. “I’m well chuffed with that”.
ciggy, cig - slang for cigarette.
clap - venereal disease - from Old French ‘clapoir’ meaning ‘venereal bubo’. Often preceded by “a dose of the”.
claret - slang for blood. eg “There was a right ding-dong down the boozer last night, there was claret all over the gaff”.
clobber - clothes, kit. eg. “I’ve gotta go shopping for some new clobber”.
(to) clock - to notice / see / look at / figure out
clump - to hit, usually punch. A term often used by a bit of a rough geezer, i.e. “I’ll come over there and clump you if you’re not careful !”.
clout – to hit, usually with an open hand, almost like a slap but without the follow-through. Also means authority as in ‘the chief constable has a lot of clout so his nephew was released despite carrying 5 kilos of smack’.
cobblers - Rhyming Slang, short for ‘cobblers awls’, ‘balls’. “That’s a right load of old cobblers” or as a one word
disagreement “Cobblers !”. Also used for testicles and a shoe repair shop.
cock and bull story - a rubbish story, nonsense. Rarely used these days.
come-we-go – let’s go – “Come we go Costco, and get a Polish”
(to) cop hold - to take hold of, to look at. Also ‘cop a feel’ to grope someone sexually.
(to) cop it - to die, to get into trouble.
(to) cop out - to ‘chicken’ out of something or retire early due to laziness, go back on a promise.
cop-shop - police station.
cream your pants / knickers - an expression used to describe an excited or enthusiastic reaction (ie. orgasm). eg. “I bet if you saw his new car you’d cream your pants !”.
crikey - an expression of astonishment. Corruption of ‘Christ’.
(to come a) cropper - to fail or fall foul of something / someone. eg “You’ll come a cropper if you mess with me mate”.
cunt – an insult, rarely used for women, tone of voice is essential. Can be an ironic term of endearment – ‘Alright you cunt… how’s it going?’
cunted - a 90’s term for very drunk. e.g. “I was so cunted last night I can’t even remember how I got home”.
cunting - an intense term of derision, much like buggering or fucking. i.e. “that cunting bouncer never lets me in that club”
cushy - easy, “a right cushy number”. Also from Hindustani ‘khush’. See below.
cushty - (also kushty) general word meaning everything is fine or that something has been resolved. From Hindustani ‘khush’
meaning ‘pleasant’.
damage - cost. ‘what’s the damage ?’.
darlin’ - typical address to female (usually of an unknown name). A familiar (much hated by women) cry from men often heard is “allo darlin’”.
dead cert - something that is definite. eg “It’s a dead cert he’ll be there tonight”.
diamond geezer - - a good ’solid’ reliable person.
diggs - lodgings.
dildo - used as an abusive term.
ding-dong - argument or fight, normally preceded with “a bit of a”. eg. “He ‘ad a bit of a ding dong with Dave down the boozer last night”.
dipstick - idiot, fool.
div/divvy - stupid or slow person.
(a) do – a party, gathering – “Went to this do on Saturday, it was piss poor.”
doddle - something easy / no problem.
dodgy - dubious person or thing. eg “He’s a bit of a dodgy geezer”.
dog - one of the most popular words to describe an ugly girl.
dog and bone - Rhyming Slang for ‘phone’. Not used as widely as it once was. Terms such as blower and bell seem more popular nowadays.
(the) dogs - another name for a greyhound racing stadium (”I’m just off to the dogs”) or short for the dogs bollocks.
(the) dogs bollocks - a term used to denote something that is ‘the best’ or exceptional. eg “Daves new stereo is the dogs
bollocks”. Sometimes shortened to ‘the dogs’ or ‘the bollocks’ and often changed to similar sayings ie. ‘the mutts nuts’, ‘the dogs danglies’.
dog’s dinner - overdressed or or in a mess. eg. “He was done up like a dog’s dinner” or “You’ve made a right dogs dinner of this !”.
dolly bird - an attractive (usually heavily made-up) woman. A vogue term of the 60’s only really used in a derogatory way now. i.e. “Most of those girls in marketing are just dolly birds”. Also used in an abbreviated form. e.g. “This place is dripping with dolly”.
done over - beaten up, duffed in.
dong - slang for penis.
dope - a slow or foolish person i.e. “He’s a bit of a dope”. A common term for cannabis (see Bob Hope).
Doris - a woman who is either plain or unattractive or it could just be used to describe a girl in a derogatory manner as if to say that her name is of little importance. i.e. “I was out last night with some Doris” or “She’s a bit of a Doris”.
dosh - money.
doss – to stare ‘whatchu dossin’ at cunt?’
dosser - down-and-out, tramp, or someone who’s lazy.
doughnut - an idiot or fool.
dozey mare/twonk/twit/sod/git/cow/twat etc. - all purpose insulting phrase for someone who’s a bit of a fool, cow and mare are used when the phrase is directed towards a woman.
duck and dive - to hide from trouble, usually the police or some dodgy geezers.
dump - to defecate. eg. “I need to take a dump”.
earner - a source of income, not usually honest. Sometimes prefixed with “a nice little”.
easy – a greeting ‘Easy Rude Boy, wa’gwan?’
‘er indoors - the wife. Meaning the one at home.
fag - cigarette.
(the) filth - the police.
fit - used to describe someone who is sexually attractive e.g.. “Winona Ryder’s well fit”.
five finger discount - a euphemism for shoplifting or thieving general.
five knuckle shuffle - - humorous name for male masturbation.
flange - slang name for vagina.
flid - schoolboy humour term usually directed at someone clumsy or stupid. Comes from Thalidomide, the drug that caused deformities in baby’s. Bit like ’spastic’ or ’spaz’.
flippin ‘eck / ‘ell - (flippin heck/hell) a mild form of exclamation which is a euphemism for the word ‘fucking’.
flutter - an occasional bet on a horse race
footie - Abbreviated form for football.
for crying out loud ! - an expression of frustration or anger. “For crying out loud can you hurry up” Similar to ‘Pete’s sake’.
fuckwit - a stupid person,
full monty - ‘the whole lot’, ‘all that is desired’..
full-on - powerful, with maximum effort.
funny money - counterfeit money.
gaff - slang for house or place. e.g. “I’ll meet you round my gaff in 10 minutes” and “He was all over the gaff” (all over the place). Originates from the 19th century when a ‘gaff’ was a slang term for a fairground or place of cheap entertainment.
gagging – craving e.g. ‘I’m gaggin’ for a slash’.
gagging for it - to be very randy or asking for sex in ones mannerisms. e.g.. “Look at that bird, she’s gagging for it”.
gander - to look at. e.g. “giss a gander”, used in a similar way to butchers.
Gary Glitter - Modern Rhyming Slang for ’shitter’. e.g.. “Does she take it up the Gary Glitter?”
(the) gee gee’s - a horse race. To ‘have a go on the gee gee’s’ is to place a bet on a horse.
geezer - a very common term for a man. “some geezer” or to say that someone is a bit of a laddish rogue “he’s a bit of a geezer”.
get / got off with - to have sexual success with someone. i.e. “Did you see Shirley the other night ? She got off with that bloke from behind the bar”.
ging’er / ginge - playful name for someone with ginger hair.
ginger beer - Rhyming Slang for queer (homosexual).
girl-dem - girls
git - mildly offensive word for someone you don’t like. Only really used for males.
gob - a common word for the mouth.
gobshite - someone who talks rubbish all the time.
gobsmacked - flabbergasted, surprised. e.g.
(to) go down - ‘to go down’ is to be sent to prison. e.g.. “Av you ‘erd, John’s gone down for GBH”
go into one - similar to ‘go off on one’. To get annoyed or lose control.
go/gone/went down a treat - something that would be enjoyed. e.g.. “That’ll go down a treat mate”.
go/went off on one - to get annoyed. e.g. “The missus went off on one when she found out I haven’t really quit smoking”.
goolies - balls, testicles. Childish term.
Gordon Bennett - an exclamation much like the antiquated ‘good heavens’ or ‘great Scott’. Supposedly this comes from the Gordon Bennett who founded the NY Herald, but some say it is a corrupted oath.
grass - to expose someone to the police, an informer. To ‘grass someone up’ is to ‘tell on them’.
grief - trouble, hassle. i.e. “Don’t give me any grief, Sunshine”.
greenie - spit containing mucus, also ‘flob’.
grub - slang word for food.
guff - to pass wind. e.g. “Who guffed?”
gutted - choked or cut up about something.
guv’nor / guv - meaning ‘boss’,
‘gwan’ – go on – “What’s gwannin’ rude boy?” “Gwan with yo bad self”
hammered - drunk. e.g. “I was totally hammered last night”.
hand-job - to masturbate the penis. e.g. “Those tarts down the road charge twenty quid for a hand-job if you’re desperate”.
Lee Marvin - Modern Rhyming Slang for ’starving’. e.g. “Let’s go Costco, I’m Lee Marvin, man”
having it large - (also see larging it) one of the new phrases that have entered into general use from the clubbing scene.
e.g.. “Were gonna have it large tonight” meaning that you intend to go all out to have a good time.
have it off - a phrase that has been in use for a few decades meaning to ‘have sex’. e.g. “I didn’t want to sit there watching TV knowing they were having it off in the back room”.
have some of that ! - an exclamation used to express pleasure usually after showing off at something. e.g. After destroying the last wave of aliens on the computer game, John exclaimed “have some of that !”.
headcase - a mad person. Sometimes applied to a violent hardcase. e.g. “You don’t wanna mess with that bloke, he’s a real headcase !”
Herbert - used to describe a foolish person or as a mild form of abuse.
(a good) hiding - to get beaten up. e.g. “If you don’t shut it I’ll give you a good hiding”
hole in the wall - a common phrase used to describe a cashpoint machine (ATM). i.e. “Can we stop in the High Street on the way, I need to use the hole in the wall”
hooray Henry - a term to describe an upper-class twit type character who probably went to public school and would own a yacht etc. Also see Sloan Ranger.
hooter - nose.
how’s your father - a euphemism for sex. “Went round to Winona’s for a bit how’s your father.”
hump - to have sex. Also means moody – “She’s on her rag (period) so she’s been getting the hump with me over fuck all, mate.”
iffy - dubious, doubtful.
in stook - in trouble, usually in the financial sense.
inside - in prison. e.g. “I’ve ‘eard Dave’s inside again”.
Jack Jones - Rhyming Slang for ‘own’. “I was all on me Jack Jones” (I was all on my own).
Jack-the-lad - a term usually applied to a young man who is flash and rebellious – a bit of a geezer
jaffa - a term for a man who is sterile. i.e. a Jaffa is a ’seedless’ orange.
jammy - lucky. e.g.. “you jammy sod”.
japs eye - hole at end of penis.
jar - pint of beer. e.g. “Fancy a few jars after work ?”.
Jimmy Riddle - Rhyming Slang for ‘piddle’ (to urinate).
jock – Scotsman – Someone from Scotland.
John Thomas - an old affectionate term for the penis.
jublies - breasts.
juiced / juiced up / juicer - very drunk, someone who drinks a lot.
keep your hair on - a phrase meaning “keep calm”.
khazi - lavatory (From the Indian).
kip - sleep. e.g. “I could really do with a kip”.
knackered - exhausted
knackers - testicles.
knees-up - party, normally with dancing.
knocking shop - brothel.
knock up - to get someone pregnant or to wake someone up. examples - “I ‘erd she got knocked up by some random geezer from down the pub.”
kosher - legitimate, honest. From the Jewish meaning of kosher (acceptable to Jewish dietary laws).
kraut - German
lairy - loud, brash. e.g.. “He’s a right lairy sod”.
larging it - a modern term that comes from ‘club culture’. To ‘have it large’ means to go all-out to have a good time. Similar to the phrase “up for it”.
leave it out - “stop doing that” or “stop saying that” or as if to say “you must be joking”.
Leg-it - run away fast. e.g. “Quick, leg-it, the law are coming”
leg-over - to have sexual intercourse “he got his leg over”.
legless - very drunk.
let one go/rip - to fart.
limp wristed - a term for a gay man.
lip - cheek, used especially towards young people by there elders. e.g. “Don’t give me any of your lip”.
loaded - someone with a lot of money.
loaf (of bread) - Rhyming Slang for ‘head’. e.g. “don’t be stupid, use yer loaf !”.
local - a common UK term for the local public house. e.g. “I’ll see you down the local at eight”.
log - a turd, jobbie.
lolly - money.
lose it - to lose ones cool, to go crazy. e.g.. “I dunno what happened, I just lost it”.
lost the plot - gone crazy/mad.
luv - general (and unliked by most women) address to a female. e.g.. “Alright luv”
luvverly jubberly - a daft phrase meaning that all is well.
malarkey - stuff, nonsense.
manor - territory, area, turf.
mate - friend
meat and two veg - a slang expression for a mans ‘equipment’.
mental - to be crazy (sometimes described as a ‘mental case’) or get very angry. e.g. “When I told him about the robbery he went mental”.
Mickey (Bliss) - Rhyming Slang for piss (urinate). Thus, when someone is described as ‘taking the Mickey’, they are taking the piss, i.e. mocking. Also sometimes changed to ‘taking the Michael’.
miffed - fed upe.g. “I was really miffed when he didn’t turn up”.
minge - (pron. minje) a fairly common term for vagina.
minger - an unattractive person (usually female). e.g. “Look at those mingers over there”
missus - bit of a lad’s term for the wife
mitts - hands. e.g. “Keep your dirty mitts off my money”.
mong / monged - a ‘mong’ is a dumb or slow person. To be ‘monged’ is to be too stoned.
(don’t give) a monkey’s - a term sometimes shortened to ‘a monkey’s’ means you couldn’t care less. e.g. “I couldn’t give a monkey’s if she leaves tomorrow”.
moolah - money
moonie - to show one’s arse to unsuspecting onlookers
moose - an ugly girl.
morning wood - an erection when waking.
motor - a common working class term for a car.
muff - popular word for vagina or woman’s pubic hair.
mug / muggins - a fool or victim. Originates from the fact that drinking mug’s used to be made with ugly faces on them. Also for this reason ‘mug’ can mean ‘face’, i.e. ‘ugly mug’.
mullered - drunk or generally intoxicated
muppet - a foolish or stupid person. e.g. “Don’t be a muppet”
mush - face, all-purpose address to male of unknown name. In the first sense can be heard in a phrase such as “I hit him in the mush”. In the second meaning it is used much like the words ‘mate’ and ‘John’ – I find it a bit patronising though.
nadds, nadgers - testicles. This term comes from the medical term for testicles ‘gonads’. A fave saying of mine that uses the word is “does it pump your nadds ?”, i.e.. does it get you excited ?.
naff - cheap and nasty, unfashionable, in poor taste.
naff off - a milder version off fuck off.
(the) nick - police station, or prison. e.g. “He got banged-up in the nick for 6 months”. Also means to steal.
(a) night (out) on the tiles - a late night out, usually drunk.
nipper - a small child.
(a) Norman – dull person, could also be used for Cornelius
nonce - a sex offender, especially of children.
nosh / nosh-up - food, a meal, oral sex. e.g. “Let’s go and get some nosh”. Recently it has been used to mean oral sex (on men). i.e. “You look happy, did your bird give you a nosh last night?”
not cricket - an old English saying. If something is ‘not cricket’ it is not correct protocol as understood by ‘decent’ people and certain lines have been crossed. Only really used in a tongue-in-cheek manner nowadays.
not on your Nelly - an old saying meaning ‘not on you life’ or ‘no way !’.
nutter - very popular word for someone crazy or more commonly violent or foolishly daring. e.g. “You’d have to be a right nutter to start a fight in that place”. Sometimes pronounced “nuttaah”.
offie - very common term for an off-licence (like a general store where they sell alcohol). e.g. “D’you fancy popping down the offie?”
(do the) off /Frank Bough - to leave, “I’m gonna do the off” “I’m gonna do the Frankie Bough” – Frank Bough is an old TV presenter who was caught visiting a dominatrix.
off your face - to be very drunk. e.g. “Last night I was totally off my face !”.
off your trolley / rocker - a bit mad, crazy.
old boy / old chap - the term ‘old boy’ can be used for an old man, i.e. “Look at that poor old boy over there”, or can be used as a euphemism for the penis.
on the game - to be prostitute.
on the job - to be involved in sexual activity. i.e. “John’s got a smile on ‘is face, must ‘av been on the job all night”.
on your bike ! - an common exclamation for ‘go away’ or ‘you must be joking’.
out of your tree - crazy, drunk or stoned.
paki – Offensive, derogatory term used to describe anyone who looks vaguely Asian (Indian Sub-Continent, not Oriental) even though it is an abbreviation for Pakistani.
pearl necklace - the common name given to the act of ejaculating on the upper chest and neck of a woman during sex, thus giving the appearance of a pearl necklace (allegedly).
pear-shaped - when something has ‘gone pear-shaped’ it has gone wrong. Probably derived from the ’sagging’ shape of a pear.
Pete Tong - Modern Rhyming Slang for ‘wrong’. A common phrase that can be heard is “It’s all gone Pete Tong”
piss-easy - something that is very easy. i.e. “That exam was piss-easy”.
pissed - unlike the American version of the word (we use pissed off), this is the most common slang term for being drunk.
piss-head - a habitual drinker or drunkard.
piss off / pissed off - telling someone to ‘piss off’ is a milder version of ‘fuck off’, to be ‘pissed off’ is to be annoyed or fed up.
pissed-up - to be very drunk.
plank - an idiot, fool.
plonker - an idiot, fool or a word for penis.
ponce - a word with many meanings in the UK. It’s original meaning was similar to that of the US ‘pimp’ but it is used more as a term of general abuse now. If you call someone a ponce you could be indicating that they are very flashy or even a bit camp.
Can also mean to blag – ‘He was poncing my fags all night”
pony and trap - Rhyming Slang for ‘crap’. You could say that something is ‘pony’.
porky pies - Rhyming Slang for ‘lies’. Mostly shortened to ‘porkies’. i.e. “You’re tellin’ porkies mate”.
powder your nose - a euphemism for taking cocaine. e.g. “Where’s Dave ?”, “He’s just nipped off to powder his nose”.
pro - short for prostitute.
pukka - means ‘authentic’ or ‘first-rate’. Originates from the Hindi word ‘pakka’ meaning ’substantial’. This word was originally used in the Indian colonies.
punter - the paying public, a customer. e.g. “We really won’t know how well the business will go until we start getting the punters in”.
quickie - quick act of sexual intercourse. Usually spontaneous. Can also be used as a term for having a quick drink.
rabbit (rabbit and pork) - Rhyming Slang for ‘talk’.
ramped - drunk. i.e. “We were ramped after that bottle of wine”.
rat-arsed - drunk.
readies - cash. i.e. “Av you got any readies John, I don’t wanna put this on plastic”
result - a successful outcome to something
ring-piece - relatively common term for the anus. e.g. ” That curry I had last night has scorched my ring-piece”
roger / rogering - to have sexual intercourse
ropey - dodgy, of poor quality, horrible etc. e.g. “Blimey, you should av’ seen the ropey old bird Dave was snogging last night, he must have been hammered”.
Rosie Lee - Rhyming Slang for ‘tea’. Used mainly in its full form. i.e. “D’you fancy a cup of Rosie Lee?”
Ruby (Murray) - Rhyming Slang for ‘curry’. After the popular singer. i.e. “Are you coming out for a Ruby tonight ?”
ruck - a fight. From the word ‘ruckus’.
rug - wig, toupee.
(do a) runner - leave unexpectedly
safe - good, all is fine.
salmon and trout - Rhyming Slang for ’snout’, meaning tobacco.
s’appening? – what’s happening?
scarpa / scarper - to run off / leave quickly.
scrounge - to beg or sponge off of others.
seeing-to - to perform sexual intercourse. e.g. “I’d give her a good seeing-to”
septic tank/sherman tank – Yank, American – “Those septics think they’re God’s gift to women”
shafted - to be treated badly, to be in trouble. e.g. “I’m totally shafted if I don’t get that job”.
shafting - sexual intercourse. e.g. “I gave her a good shafting”.
shagged-out - to feel tired.
shitfaced - very drunk.
shit for brains - term of abuse for someone of low wit or intelligence.
shitter - common term for the anus.
shed-load - a huge amount. e.g. “I’ve got a shed-load of dodgy stuff for sale” also shit-load.
shell-out - to have to pay for, usually unexpectedly.
shirtlifter - a gay man. Comes from the fact that ones shirt would have to be lifted before anal intercourse.
skint - to have no money, brassic.
skirt - young attractive woman. Often preceded with “a bit of” e.g. “I never realized this was such a good place to eye-up skirt” or “What you need is a nice bit of skirt to cheer you up”.
skunk - a particularly strong variety of marijuana. Named so because of its strong smell.
slag - a very common word for a loose woman or generally a rough looking bird. e.g. “She’s a right old slag”.
slaphead - a bald person.
slapper - a common term for a loose woman.
slash - a very common slang term for urination. e.g. “I’m dying for a slash”.
snout - tobacco. A prison term. Derives from the fact that the smoking of banned tobacco in prison was often masked by pretending to rub the nose.
solid - reliable, dependable (a solid geezer). e.g. “You don’t have to worry about Dave, he’s a solid bloke”. Also another name for cannabis resin - hashish.
son - general term of address to a male. Usually used in a friendly way. i.e. “Nice one son” Can be seen to be patronizing round my way.
sort – a good-looking person, normally a girl
sorted – fixed, done, also used as an exclamation of happiness by idiots.
spanner - a fool, weak individual.
spare - to loose ones temper, to go crazy. e.g. “When she finds out she’ll go spare.”
spliff - common term for a cannabis cigarette
squire - a general term of address towards a man similar to ‘guvnor’.
stiffy - an erection
straight-up - seriously, implying something is genuine.
stuffed - done in, ripped off, in trouble etc. e.g. “I’ll be completely stuffed if my wife finds out” Also means full-up, usually after a meal.
stuffing - to perform sexual intercourse (male perspective). e.g. “I gave her a good stuffing”.
stunner - pron. ’stunnah’. A very good looking bird.
suss - savvy/know how. eg. “He got a lot of suss”.
sussed / sussed out - can mean found out / discovered, or well adjusted / together.
sweet as a nut - meaning ‘nice’, ’simple’, ‘no problem’.
todger - the penis.
(to) take the biscuit - to add insult to injury, to be even worse than first thought. e.g. “I can’t believe what he did, that really takes the biscuit ”
tanked (up) - to get very drunk .
tea leaf - Rhyming Slang for thief.
tits-up - all gone wrong. Vulgar version of ‘belly-up’.
(on your) Todd - short for Todd Sloane, Rhyming Slang for ‘own’. After the famous jockey. e.g. “There’s you lot having a wild time and I’m left here all on me’ Todd”.
toerag - originally means a tramp or a vagrant but used more as a mild offensive term.
tool - the penis, a foolish person.
tooled-up - to arm oneself, usually with improvised weapons like bottles or sticks.
top drawer / top notch – of high quality
tosser - wanker
trainspotter - a socially inept young male
trashed - common term for getting very drunk. e.g. “We got completely trashed last night”.
trog - common word for an ugly girl.
trouble and strife - Rhyming Slang for ‘wife’.
tortoise-head - to need to defecate urgently, like a turtle’s head poking out
up for it - to be willing
up the duff - to be pregnant
up yours – fuck off
wa’gwan – what’s going on? A greeting.
wank - to masturbate. Also used if something is crap – I heard that Aerosmith album was wank, mate.
wanker – self-abuser
wank off - to masturbate
wank stain - general term of abuse.
wankered - a modern term meaning ‘very drunk’.
wa’yasay – What you saying? A greeting
wedge - money.
well ard/hard - someone or something that is very tough or difficult
wicked - excellent, cool.
window licker - a name for the sort of ‘nutter’ who sits next to you on the bus and does something weird.
wind up - to tease
wind-up merchant - someone who specializes in teasing.
woolie woofter - ‘poofter’ (gay man).
wonga - money.
yob - hooligan